28 Weeks

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I forgot to mention that last week I found my ultrasound pictures. When my husband came home at the beginning of October I misplaced them amidst the excitement of the gender reveal. I was extremely upset and figured they had fallen out of the truck or my purse somehow but they had been in my big wallet all along!

I’m still recovering from the baby shower weekend. Tuesday I had difficulty breathing while seated at work. I was feeling heaviness in my chest and shortness of breath which came on suddenly. I did have a cough and had been wheezing over the weekend but I felt fine otherwise. My husband recommended I call my OB who suggest I visit the ER. I took their advice and headed to the hospital where I was given an EKG and the baby was monitored for 2 hours.

Roman did NOT enjoy this process. I had last eaten at 1:00 pm and was not discharged until 7:45 pm so this boy was hungry. The entire time the monitors were on my stomach he was kicking them & causing noise interference. The kicks were so strong that my stomach was visibly shaking. When I told Edwin, he’s immediate response was “Oh, I bet Roman was pissed!” Uh yea. My husband knows how much his wife and his son love food. 😉

All was well, though. The pregnancy seems to be exacerbating the asthma I have had since I was little and I have some congestion. After another hour and a half in the pharmacy, I was given Mucinex and Albuteral and Roman got to eat. And the best part of all was tricking the L&D doc into verifying that Roman was indeed Roman. One observation, men are much more vulgar in describing male body parts than women…

The nursery, which still needs to be painted, is quickly filling up with baby items. I have almost all the decorations for it but I still need to finish those pesky curtains. We have almost all of our big items: pack n play with a bassinet, crib, bouncer/rocker, stroller/car seat, monitor, & breast pump. I have the money for the rocking chair so the only other item we need is a dresser or changing table. What Roman doesn’t need is shampoo/body wash/lotion/powder/baby oil. I think we have a lifetime supply.

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It’s all piling up! I can’t wait for Edwin to get home so that we can put it all together. 🙂

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His wardobe is slowly beginning to grow. We need a lot more 3-6 mo clothing, though. I have tons of newborn clothes folded and put away but I have a feeling he won’t fit in them for long.

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Our stroller/car seat combo!

I do want to get some washcloths, more towels, toys, clothes, and bottles. I’m sure there’s a million other things I need but I’ll get them in time.

I had an OB appointment this week. My glucose test came back normal. 🙂 Yay for not having gestational diabetes! I did have my calcium levels checked today because of being lactose intolerant so I am waiting on the results of that.

Total pregnancy weight gain is +2lbs! I’ve gained 4 pounds in the past month which is right on target with the pound a week! I guess I’m doing something right which makes me feel pretty good. I’m hoping it continues because with only 12 weeks to go, I can expect a 12 lb. increase by the time I deliver, making a total of 16 pounds over my pre-pregnancy weight. Talk about easy to lose since baby and fluids take up half of that! But that’s if life goes as I planned it. And when does that happen? 😉

My blood pressure, which was 115/60 the other night, was back to 97/55, or otherwise normal for me. I joked with Edwin that this must mean Roman will be good for my blood pressure.

Roman’s heart rate was 152, also excellent. At the time of my appointment I was measuring at 28 weeks instead of the 27 weeks they thought I was. No moving of the due date yet but I have a feeling they will go back to that 2/10 EDD instead of 2/13. I’m now doing 2 week OB visits so my next visit will be 12/3.

Edwin asked me this week how many more weeks do we have until it would be safe to deliver (if he came early on his own accord or by doctor’s wishes). I believe he’s referring to 37 weeks so I said we have 9 weeks to get through, at least. And then I had a holy shit moment in my head. SERIOUSLY? 9 WEEKS? I only have 12 total to go. This is just insane. Where did my pregnancy go? I have to admit, I am going to miss it. It has had it’s moments, but in retrospect it has been a very easy pregnancy. I will miss feeling Roman inside of my belly but will rejoice that I will actually be holding him and smothering him with kisses. I will miss that feeling of specialness that comes with pregnancy, too. But with all that aside, I’m extremely excited to grow our family by one. Edwin and I care for each other so much that it will be rewarding and fulfilling to shower Roman with our love.

Symptoms & How I’m Getting By

It’s my last week before Edwin comes home for three-four months and I’m struggling a bit. We have our home inspection on Monday and I don’t know if they are looking for the general upkeep of the house (structural stuff) or if I am supposed to deep clean the house. Whatever it might be, this place isn’t going to be 100% spotless. I can’t lift our sweeper so only the downstairs will be swept and I’m probably only going to Swiffer instead of mop. I don’t have the energy nor do I want to be around harsh chemicals. Regardless, I’m a little stressed about this and wish we could postpone it until next week.

I have a dentist appointment on Tuesday that I am dreading and immediately after I am meeting a pest control guy to check out the house for a possible yellow jacket nest. And then at 5, I have an infant care class. I don’t want to do any of it. I want to sleep and relax on my days off but it now seems as though I will have appointments on all of them. I’m whining, yes, but I do not care.

My Braxton Hicks have been ridiculous. I had them on and off all day long Saturday despite increasing my water intake and moving around. It was quite nerve-wrecking but I wasn’t ready to call the OB. They didn’t hurt, there wasn’t a pattern, they didn’t intensify or occur for longer periods of time; they were just uncomfortable. I think I let my nerves get the best of me. I’m terribly fearful of something happening while Edwin is gone and the thought of being hospitalized and him being so far away is absolutely terrifying. Sunday, however, was a better day. I only had a few occur which was a huge relief.

The leg cramps are still happening and I’m still needing to pee around 4 am every day but fortunately I’m able to fall back asleep (as long as I don’t get up). The fatigue has returned, too. I think Edwin can hear it in my voice. I just want to go to sleep at 8 pm every night and sleep until noon; naps have become my best friend.

Roman has really picked up activity wise and now that he’s moved further up in my uterus (he’s still head down according to the doc), I can not only feel his kicks with my hands but also his body moving across my stomach. It’s a odd mix of cool & freaking weird at the same time. I’ve actually been able to make out the shape of his foot and tickle it a bit.

One last thing I’d like to share… On our first date, Edwin asked me to accompany him to a tattoo shop so that he could get a sea turtle tattooed on his arm. This weekend he decided to add a baby sea turtle swimming toward the big sea turtle. The bigger one will be shaded later this week. Introducing Daddy & Roman, tattoo edition:

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TWENTY-FIVE weeks!

25 weeks?! Seriously?! My third trimester starts in 2 weeks and I have 15 weeks until R enters the world. Should I start the countdown now? 😉 Time has been flying by and I blame my husband’s work schedule. I feel like he just came home and then he had to leave again on Saturday. It’s only 4 weeks this time AND I get to see him in 10 days BUT I was not ready for him to leave again. I just keep reminding myself that because I am traveling to Louisville for the baby shower, the amount of time separated is greatly shortened and once he gets home in 4 weeks, he doesn’t have to leave again until March or April, at least a month after R is born. 
It has been a pretty rough week for me emotionally and energy-wise. I am still struggling with the change in my body and comments about how big my stomach is getting don’t help. I get that it is supposed to get bigger but I haven’t fully accepted the results in the mirror. I hadn’t quite reached my weight-loss goal prior to this surprise so now that my stomach is expanding rapidly, I don’t exactly like how the remaining 15 pounds are shifting. It’s all superficial, of course, and I (probably) won’t care as much once I meet R but right now it’s an issue I am dealing with. 
My biggest problem currently is the anxiety I am experiencing. I’m not sure if anyone truly understands what I am feeling. I am a first-time mom-to-be living in a brand new city with a husband who isn’t home all of the time. My friends (the ones with whom I am most comfortable) and family are far away and I can only have a one way conversation with my mother (what I wouldn’t give to have her here). I have moments where it occurs to me that I am alone and pregnant and anything could happen and it scares the shit out of me. I have to stop and breathe and fight the tears and anxiety. I’ve never had panic attacks but that is what I feel like is happening. It’s not something that I can prevent and it’s not a feeling I have 24/7 but when it occurs, it’s overwhelming. I can’t even put the feelings of the anxiety in words. I’m not just sad because Edwin’s away on a silly four week trip. I’m scared because this is new, uncharted territory for me, because I have pregnancy hormones, because I am alone, because I can’t control any of this, because I don’t have anyone telling me what’s normal and what’s not, because I feel like I don’t really have anyone to turn to because I’m afraid of talking their ear off/annoying them. 
All of the resources I have read state that the 2nd trimester is supposed to be easier, less emotional, and full of energy and that the 3rd trimester is the one where you sleep all the time. Nope, not true for me so far. The waterworks have been on full blast (I teared up when talking to a coworker about how I might actually miss the feeling of R kicking me from inside) and bedtime is between 7:30 pm  and 9:00 pm. Edwin has been wonderful about accommodating me but I can’t help but feel bad about the amount of time I’m losing with him because I can’t stay awake any longer. I’m hoping that maybe I’ll have more energy in the upcoming weeks but I just don’t think that will happen.
In terms of new symptoms I am having: leg cramps and Braxton Hicks. The cramps occur at night in my left calf and have terribly disrupted my sleep – some nights I have 2-3. The Braxton Hicks are irregular, of course and were what I originally thought was the baby moving. The internet (oh, how Edwin hates me using it to look up every pregnancy symptom) sites like American Pregnancy, WebMD, and BabyCenter all describe Braxton Hicks as a tightening of the uterus that lasts for 30-60 seconds and can be relieved with water and movement. They don’t hurt and don’t increase in frequency/follow a pattern, all of which is true for me. I had several the other night but walking around and downing some juice and water made them stop. Of course, to be safe, I am watching out for them and will be reporting at my next OB appointment. 
 
I don't look too pregnant from the front. The shirt is from the Mama collection at H&M.

I don’t look too pregnant from the front. The shirt is from the Mama collection at H&M.

But sheesh, from the side! That belly is getting big!

But sheesh, from the side! That belly is getting big (even though it doesn’t look real to me in this photo)!

I made R this bear this weekend. I was almost in tears during the process.

I made R this bear this weekend. I was almost in tears during the process.

A gift from a coworker!

A gift from a coworker!

24 weeks

I want to try something new this week. I’ve been journaling a bit and figured I’d just add some of the entries since I last posted.

Monday

Today we felt R’s butt, back, or head. I was reclining in bed and felt a hard lump about the size of a tennis ball (maybe a tad smaller) in my lower abdomen. I had Edwin feel it. And then a few minutes later, the lump was in a different spot. I felt some strong kicks as well as an uncomfortable shifting. The lump moved about three or four times!

I know R’s brain development isn’t capable of this yet, but I feel like the little munchkin has been playing games with me. I will feel some kicks but when I rest my hand so that I can feel those feet/hands/elbows on my hands, all movement stops. I continue pressing for a few moments but feel nothing and as soon as I move my hand away, the kicks return! Edwin described R as “being an ass like Daddy.” Lol!

Tuesday

R wasn’t active as much today, only a few kicks. I guess the little one needed some rest after many days of what seemed like constant activity. I hated not feeling the movement as much, though. It’s a comforting feeling right now so when it’s absent I worry, though I know it is too early to be counting kicks.

Wednesday

R was back at it again today, kicking away! Dinner (steak and baked potatoes) must have been satisified or R was just trying to tell me that there was no more room! 😉

I came home from work to four packs of Huggies size 3 diapers, 6 bottles of baby oil (I think I’m set for a lifetime), 4 bottles of baby powder, and a bottle of baby shampoo that was given to us by one of our friends! I was so excited!

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Thursday

An older gentleman came into work today and asked if I had read anything good lately. I sighed and said, “No, my pregnancy has left me exhausted so I don’t feel like reading much.” He said, “Oh, congratulations, I couldn’t tell. You must not be far along.” I laughed and replied, “Well, I’m just about 6 months pregnant.” His eyes widened and he said, “You don’t look it, you look great!” He was probably just being friendly but words like that are greatly appreciated. I don’t think people who aren’t pregnant realize how much moms-to-be worry about their looks. Sure, we have “an excuse” to gain weight, but I don’t see it like that. Everyday is a constant struggle to make sure I’m getting enough water and healthy foods. I feel bad if I have a little bit of soda or tea here and there. And then we have to worry about losing the baby weight. I actually broke down in tears tonight because I haven’t had the energy to work out like I did before pregnancy. These 40 hours a week (plus alternating weekends) kill me. I’m moving around constantly while working that by the time I get home at 5:30 or 7:30 depending on the day, I barely have the energy to cook. I’m rambling but the point is that pregnant women are just as concerned with their weight as non-pregnant women and when people tell me that I look great, I feel pretty good. But tomorrow is weigh-in day. Eeek.

Today I felt R above my belly button for the first time! The kicks are usually concentrated in my pelvic region so when I felt them up high, I was caught off guard and excited!

Friday

Today was my OB appointment! I look forward to these appointments because I know I get to hear R’s heartbeat. Everything is going great still. I’m measuring 24 cm (fundal height), which is right on track since I’ll be at 24 weeks at the time of this posting. R’s HR was 147, just like last time. My weight gain was right about on target. I’ve been told a pound per week is average and I’ve gained about 5 lbs in the past 4 weeks for a total weight gain of -2lbs (For those of you who aren’t aware, I lost 10 lbs. in the first 3-4 months of pregnancy and I’ve only gained 8 of those lbs back). I’m not going to beat myself up over the extra lb. I know R is about 1.5 lbs and then I have to throw some ounces at the fluids, placenta, boobs, etc. Edwin keeps telling me that I haven’t gained much so I guess I should start listening. 🙂 I also got my first flu shot in nearly 15-20 years. I have my glucose test in a little under 3 weeks and then my next OB appointment is in 4 weeks.

Bump Shot & Questions:

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How far along: 24 weeks – holy moly, I am only 3 weeks or so away from my third trimester! Where is the time going?!

How big is baby?  1 1/3 – 1 1/2 lbs and just about 12 inches… or the size of a canteloupe/ear of corn.

Baby’s milestones:  R’s lungs are developing.

Symptoms:

  • HELL-O exhaustion!
  • slightly swollen fingers, but the ring is still on
  • weepiness
  • foot and leg cramps (think charlie horse style!)

Sleep: I can’t get enough. Seriously. 8+ hours just isn’t enough.

Food cravings: root beer floats.

Looking forward to: my baby shower in 3 weeks!

22 weeks.

My husband came home on Friday and we had a nice dinner at PF Chang’s where we celebrated my birthday and discovery of the sex of Baby R.  A friend made us a cake with colored candy in between the layers. As soon as we saw the color, I started crying and then immediately opened the envelope with the ultrasound photo inside. I wish I could share with everyone because I just want to shout it from the rooftops, but I promised my husband I would only tell those who asked so there can be some element of surprise. I am so looking forward to buying things for R and beginning the nursery!

Today has been a little rough. I’ve been letting comments at work bother me – these hormones are overpowering. And I’m sick on top of it. A cold front has been moving in which has brought congestion, a bloody nose, and a migraine. On top of that I am utterly exhausted. I have 18 weeks to go, or 4 months and 3 days. The third trimester is almost here; the countdown is on! 

Bump of the week, or BOTW: 

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How far along: 22 weeks

Total weight gain: still haven’t weighed in.

Maternity clothes: this is frustrating. I’m still in my maternity jeans and pre pregnancy dresses/skirts, but the dresses are getting shorter because the belly is growing too quickly. Shirts are a problem. I have a couple of maternity tops I’m rotating but normally I just wear a maternity tank with a cardigan over. I’m terribly depressed about my clothing situation. I can’t really afford to purchase new shirts and the old ones are quickly becoming too small. 

Stretch marks:  still no new ones that I am aware of.

Sleep: I’m ready for bed by 9:30/10:00 but I wake up every morning by 5 to use the bathroom. -.- 

Best moment of this week: definitely finding out the sex. 🙂

Miss anything: My pre-pregnancy clothes!

Movement: Lots! Slightly low, in the pelvic region. Mostly at night, when I’m hungry, and right after I eat. The kicks last about 20 min to an hour and occur at 15-45 second intervals. Some tickle. 🙂

Food cravings: more salad, root beer. Today I wanted an Italian Beef Croissant from Portillo’s. Too bad I’m not in Chicago.

Anything making you queasy or sick: Not lately.

Have you started to show yet: haha 

Gender: it’s a surprise (to some). 

Labor signs: Nope.

Belly button in or out: Still in. 

Wedding rings on or off: on. 

Happy or moody most of the time: lately I have been scared out of my mind. I can’t explain it – just feeling terrified at random moments. I cried a little last night and when I woke up.

Looking forward to: my day off tomorrow.

Terrified of what’s to come?

Are any other first time mom-to-be’s completely scared out of their minds about anything and everything during their pregnancy? 

So far, I am not fearful of delivery though as it gets closer I am sure I will be. Right now, my mind is focused on being alone DURING pregnancy. In the 21 weeks thus far, my husband (who is military) has been home for maybe a month or two of my pregnancy. He returns this weekend but leaves again right before Halloween and will be gone until the weekend before Thanksgiving. He fortunately does not have any trips for December and will be requesting that someone else goes on any that might be scheduled for January/February/March. His presence during this time isn’t guaranteed, though, and I’m scared to death that I will be alone come delivery day. Who knows when I will go – on time? late? early? It’s so very important to me, since we don’t have family in the area, that he be here for the delivery.

And what if I have any complications? Hospitals are scary and I have already had to go to the ER twice for my migraines. The first time I was alone and when they gave me the IV, I became extremely paranoid. I just want him here in case anything happens.

And then of course I have those feelings of inadequacy. Will I be a good mother? I think of the impatience I had with a previous pet and I don’t want to take my frustrations out on my child. Or I think about the parents I see in public who rudely yell at their children over things I find to be silly. I don’t want to be like that; I don’t want to yell but is this something all parents do? I mean, I know that all parents raise their voice at their children and get upset with them, that’s inevitable, but when is it too much? 

I’m 26 years old tomorrow but sometimes I still feel 18. I ask myself “Am I ready? Am I mom material?” My husband always tells me yes and that I will be wonderful but I can’t help but feel secure. Surely I’m not the only mother that has this concern? 

21 Weeks.

I’m posting a day early but what’s a day?

So I saw an infant – like fresh out of the womb/what are you doing out in public with that tiny being – in Kohl’s earlier and it hit me. I looked into those fresh, glazed over eyes and lost my breath for a second. It was a glimpse of 4 1/2 months from now. A moment of panic and a moment of elation mixed together. Can I really do this? Is this really happening? Yes. Yes, it is. And I’ll be okay.

It was an incredibly long week. I had Tuesday off but it just wasn’t enough and by Thursday I was sick with congestion and digestion issues (oh, how fun pregnancy can be!). I left work early that day which meant I had to make up the hours on my day off yesterday. I was feeling much better and even told my mother-in-law so last night but as soon as we hung up, my head was over the toilet and spent the night in bed with gatorade. All I could think was “Seriously? Where did this come from? I haven’t thrown up in weeks!” Today has been much better but I haven’t had much of an appetite. But that’s pregnancy. No two days are alike. Sheesh, no two moments in my pregnancy are alike. Everything changes so quickly.

My latest DIY nursery project has been the mobile. It’s incredibly easy but a bit time consuming. I am loving the outcome, so far. I think I will add several more strands but with multiple colors on each strand to mix it up. I also plan to wrap navy yarn around the wooden hoop for extra color and to secure the clear cord to the hoop.

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And now, for the survey:

How far along: 21 weeks

Bump watch: 

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I’m definitely rounding out there.

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Total weight gain: Won’t weigh in until next appointment on 10/18.

Maternity clothes: I just bought two tops today. I have popped in the past week and though I want to be excited about it, it is frustrating to find clothes that fit my body type. I shopped Old Navy for oversized shirts with no luck and went to Kohl’s and two Targets before I found anything. I find most maternity tops to be ugly and what I did like seemed to only come in XS, S, and XXL when I needed a M/L.

Stretch marks: No new ones.

Sleep: It’s been okay this past week.

Best moment of this week: Scoring that AWESOME baby blanket for only $10 at BabiesRUs. I don’t even care if the baby ends up a girl. She will have a blue blanket and that’s that.

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Miss anything: My husband! He will be home on Friday night!

Movement: Yep, still at night and almost every time I roll over on my belly.

Food cravings: None this week.

Anything making you queasy or sick: Nope!

Have you started to show yet: Scroll back up and take a look!

Gender: We have our suspicions. Will know for sure on Friday!

Labor signs: No.

Belly button in or out: Still in.

Wedding rings on or off: Still on.

Happy or moody most of the time: Yesterday and today I have been frustrated. Little things are bothering me, like driving to seven different stores for ONE item, or seeing the extra weight. It’s all apart of the pregnancy, I know, but I’m having difficulties coming to terms.

Looking forward to: husband being home, finding out the gender for sure, and having Saturday off.